Kris's thoughts on Chemo #11

I don"t  know where to begin with #11. # 10 went well, I rebounded quickly and felt okay for the most part. Then had surgery, which has proved to be a good decision, as I am able to sleep laying in my bed, all night, most nights.( I really missed my bed for those 5 months...) I cough less now but it seems to hurt more when I do. I don't even want to think about sneezing!

I thought it would be a walk in the park. For now, I am no longer taking the oral chemo xeloda. I had a bone supplement and 2 IV chemos called methotrexate and navelbine. #11 KICKED MY REAR! I slept for 3 days, and spent much of my nights in tears because my bones hurt so badly. The pain in my spine was intense to say the least. 

My mind can go to some dark places if I let it. Often times it is at night. I think about death. I think about the things I know I'm going to miss in my boy's lives. Graduations, girlfriends, weddings, grandchildren. I think about Joe and the promise I made to him so many years ago to grow old together. 

One night I said it out loud, almost angry: "I don't get to feel good again, do I?" I think God was waiting for me to ask because he gave me this: From my son Brandyn's FB page I read Psalm 16:9-11. I love the whole chapter.

Psalm 16

 1 Keep me safe, my God, 

   for in you I take refuge.

 2 I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; 

   apart from you I have no good thing.” 

3 I say of the holy people who are in the land, 

   “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” 

4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. 

   I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods 

   or take up their names on my lips.

 5 LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; 

   you make my lot secure. 

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 

   surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; 

   even at night my heart instructs me. 

8 I keep my eyes always on the LORD. 

   With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

 9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; 

   my body also will rest secure, 

10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, 

   nor will you let your faithful one see decay. 

11 You make known to me the path of life; 

   you will fill me with joy in your presence, 

   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

I don't know if I will ever feel healthy again while I am on this earth. I do know that I feel loved and cared for. I do know that my good days are not gone. In fact this week Monday and Tuesday were good days. I had coughing and pain throughout the days but I also had fun, laughter and indescibable joy in my heart.

ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING! What Was Predicted 3 Years Ago is NOW HERE! BHO EXP...

3 New Navy Ships:

USS REAGAN 

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!

When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement. 

Capability

Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet 

Size

1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet 

Capacity 

1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served daily

4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

USS BILL CLINTON 

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada . 

USS BARACK OBAMA

Details are vague.

But don't you worry..........he has a plan

A GLIMMER OF HOPE

I went to my post op appointment this morning Dr. Johnson my oncologist is pleased with the results of my surgery. He says there is some scarring in my right lung but that was to be expected. My right breast hurts and below it is numb, he says it's probable that nerves were damaged by the incisions and they will eventually heal. I weigh less today than I did when I was 16. Seriously, skinny is highly over rated and quite uncomfortable....He says to eat more and start walking as much as I can. He is very happy with the results of chemotherapy and wants to start up again the week after Thanksgiving. Maybe changing it up a little to improve my response to it. He said we have alot of options and can change the medications for optimal response for a long time. I asked how long he thought a long time was. He said 2-3  years. It was a glimmer of hope for me, not long ago we thought my time was up. Alot can change in 2-3 years. I'll take that. 

So much has changed in the past 5 months. Relationships have started to heal, new friendships have been made. I am reminded each day that I am nothing, Everything that I have prided myself on is gone. I have no energy to do the things that I want to do, the things that show off my talents, the things that make me, me. I am everything. God loves me so much that he sent His only Son to take my sins away from me so that I can be near to Him.  When I am healthy, I do things with my own power. When I am ill I have to ask for the strength to make it through the day, sometimes accomplishing little more than showering and dressing myself. When I am weak He is strong. When I am weak, He is waiting for me to call out to Him so he can carry me. When I am weak He shows Himself to me. When I am weak I am willing to see that He loves me and is with me every step of the way.

Why? by Kris Rosebrook Eberle on Sunday, October 23, 2011 at 4:48am

Wednesday mornings have been especially difficult. The 30 minute drive into chemo tends to be a long emotional trip. Dread is heavy. Last Wednesday I asked a few friends to pray for me, specifically to help me have a heart of gratitude. God showed up in a big way for me. I could feel Him holding me. My attitude was changed.  Friends were texting me encouragement and prayers. My sister Tricia  came from Bethel, Ak. ( knowing I would likely be asleep most of her visit). For 2 days we sat around together in our pj's. She gave our dog a bath (He stunk!), just so I could hold him. Meals were delivered. Our son Brandyn, whom we had not seen since August, came home from college for the weekend. To sit and watch the boys make pizza together was priceless and then delicious.

Why? I refused to ask this the first time around. I figured the answer was; Why not? I'm not so special that I could escape a disease that affects so many people. It was just part of life. It could be that I refused to ask because I did not really want to know....This time I'm asking. Why God? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to hurt so much? He has not given me one answer that explains everything and I don't expect that He will. He has given me answers that help explain some things. He wants me to find strength in Him, not in myself. He wants me to trust Him completely. He wants me to let others love me. He wants me to love others without judgment. Why God? I'm ready to hear you. Why God? I'm ready, teach me.

Nancy Pelosi: God bless occupy Wall Street protestors

I was attempting to post these two videos in the same post, just to show the idiocy of the left.  She tries to compare Wall Street with the Tea Party, but I am sure by the video below, you can see there is a world of difference between the two.  The young men in the video below show class and control the occupiers could never exercise.  I think they were having lots of fun too.  Sometimes it is just plain old fun to bait the ignorant.  It draws out their ignorance all the more and allows everyone to witness it.