Three months my darling. I can't tell you how much I miss you.

Since This blog has been

dedicated to Kris's journey for the past 18 months, I cannot bring myself to post anything else on it right now.
I am posting at my fluff blog right now. You can find me at http://yestheyareallmine-mom.blogspot.com/

Cross Kris made for her church.  She welded a bed frame together for the shape and filled it in with broken mirrors. The stain glass effect is because it is reflecting the window on the opposite wall. It is about 6 feet tall.

Kris and her Grandma. Shortly before Grandma passed away and a couple of months before we found out Kris was sick again.

Please come visit me there.  Leave me a comment so I know you have been there. I do enjoy visiting with you.
Yes, They are all Mine

She is dancing with the Angels

Kris and Joseph June 21, 1990

I love you mom.  Brandyn and Kris

Kris giving her sister Tricia a bottle

Kris and her dad.  The snowman she made for him to put in front of his office during the Christmas Season

She packed as much living as she could into her last 18 months.  Zip lining on Camano Island.

Disney World

River rafting with the family.  Kris and Andrew in the front.

She bought this truck before she knew she was sick again.  It was  trashed.  She had begun working on it  but once she was sick she could no longer.  Joseph worked very hard to finish it so she could get some enjoyment from it before she left us.  She loved tooling around her little town in it.

Kris and Brandyn

She had lots of fun with her bald head.

Picking berries.

She lived her life to the very fullest.  She loved her family with a love that can not be duplicated.  Her love for Jesus is unparalleled.  To say there is a hole in our hearts in an understatement.  Tomorrow we will hold a celebration of her life. I found this poem a few weeks ago and saved it for just this time.  It is called the Broken Chain by Ron Tranmer.  He wrote it one day when his family suffered an unexpected loss. Because we knew this was coming, I changed just one word in it.

We all knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Kristina Colleen Rosebrook Eberle

May 9, 1970

January 9, 2013

I can hardly wait my darling daughter until we start to link back up again in heaven.

ANGEL

I CAN'T FIND YOU!!  ARE YOU STILL AROUND?  I TRIED TO E-MAIL YOU BUT IT CAME BACK TO ME.  PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU ARE BLOGGING.  MISS YOU.

It has been a long time

Lots of reasons.  No computer, busy, did not feel like blogging. Take your pick.  But tonight, I have an update on my Kris.  It is not a happy one and I am asking those of you who may read this to please continue to hold her up in prayer.

Okay, I'll say it.

by Kris Rosebrook Eberle on Saturday, September 15, 2012 at 9:19pm ·

I'm a wreck. Two months off of chemo was supposed to be the best vacation ever! It was so nice the first couple of weeks not to feel nauseous. Joe has had most of that time off of work. We kept busy, going from one project or adventure to another. Camping, street fairs, motorcycle riding, Silverwood, zip lining, car shows, swap meets, garage sales. Driving lil' green, boating/fishing/napping, yard work. We were very busy. We had a great time and there are so many pictures to prove it......
The down times have been hard. Really hard. My body is almost always in excruciating pain. Pain management thus far has been a huge failure. Mostly because I have refused to take the drugs that are supposed to keep the pain in check. I do not like what they do to me. I do not like to sit in a zombie state. I feel like a gooey blob stoned stupid. I do not like it.
1 week later....
My pain had become to much to bare. Had a chat with my Dr. and we agreed it was past time to increase my meds. I spent the entire week in a drugged stupor, crying my eyes out, studdering, shaking, sleeping and still in pain. I'm coming around though. Today I got out of bed, showered and ready for a productive day. Maybe tomorrow I can do all of that and then something productive.
Tuesday I go to see the Dr. and get results from my last bone and cat scans.
Please pray for my attitude. It's bad. While much of what I feel is justifiable it is not the attitude I want. I know that God is in control and ulitmately I want to see Him glorified through this dreaded disease; I just wish it was all not so tough to deal with.

She can laugh at herself. What a blessing..

Frequently I get wrong number texts. Today I got one that said, "Hey, Where do you get waxed? I know u told me at one time, just can't remember and how much do they charge?" My reply via picture message: "HARRISON ONCOLOGY. I would not recommend it. Oh, and I think you have the wrong #." I know, bad. But I could not help myself and it made me laugh all day!

She is so beautiful. Inside and out.

From Kris............

Response to chemotherapy treatments are positive. There is noticeable shrinkage in many nodules. My oncologist's recommendation is to continue with the current cocktail after a two week break.

This is good news, right? 

There is no cure for this cancer, chemo is just buying time. I have not felt good at all this week. It is taking longer and longer to recover from treatment. Is this time worth the price? I don't know. If I feel better during my two week break, why would I go back? I don't know. Is more time better than good time? I don't know.

Week 26 Chemo

Kris and her younger sister Tricia who is the artist of week #26 Chemo Buddy.

We will know on Wednesday if the new treatment has done anything more for her than make her bald.

Chemo Buddies and a decision.

Add caption

3 promises    how does one get excited about a new option when it is called a cytotoxic? Abraxane is it's name. I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around the idea that when the first choice of treatment fails there is hope in the second choice. And then hope in a third choice.

Knowing so many people are praying for me helps. Knowing that you are praying for specific things helps even more. Wednesday is chemo day. I hate chemo and I'm sure it hates me. Knowing that you pray for chemo to pass through God's hands before it enters my body is of great comfort to me.

I feel numb today. I feel lost. I feel like throwing a tantrum, screaming of the great injustice. I won't. I will sit here quietly and think about 3 promises.

#1)   I,Joe, take you Kris, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

#2)  Romans 8:37-39

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 #3) I will fight.

I will sit here and think of those three promises. I am not lost. I am found. I am comforted.

Chemo Buddies.

Today they told her the Chemo is not working.

In Remembrance of Roe V Wade

Chemo Buddies.

In no particular order.  I like to think it is helping.  She was able to go on a trip with her husband this week.  He was going for schooling in his job and she accompanied him.  Her sister went with them so she would not be alone during the day.
I praise God for every day he gives to us.  Life is so precious.

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened .

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100..00.

When The postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, 
they decided to send it to President Obama.

Obama was so amused that he 
instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill.

He thought this would appear to 
be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted 
with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note 
to God, which read:

Dear God:

Thank you very much for sending the money.However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through

Washington, D.C. and those 
assholes took $95.

Kris's thoughts on Chemo #11

I don"t  know where to begin with #11. # 10 went well, I rebounded quickly and felt okay for the most part. Then had surgery, which has proved to be a good decision, as I am able to sleep laying in my bed, all night, most nights.( I really missed my bed for those 5 months...) I cough less now but it seems to hurt more when I do. I don't even want to think about sneezing!

I thought it would be a walk in the park. For now, I am no longer taking the oral chemo xeloda. I had a bone supplement and 2 IV chemos called methotrexate and navelbine. #11 KICKED MY REAR! I slept for 3 days, and spent much of my nights in tears because my bones hurt so badly. The pain in my spine was intense to say the least. 

My mind can go to some dark places if I let it. Often times it is at night. I think about death. I think about the things I know I'm going to miss in my boy's lives. Graduations, girlfriends, weddings, grandchildren. I think about Joe and the promise I made to him so many years ago to grow old together. 

One night I said it out loud, almost angry: "I don't get to feel good again, do I?" I think God was waiting for me to ask because he gave me this: From my son Brandyn's FB page I read Psalm 16:9-11. I love the whole chapter.

Psalm 16

 1 Keep me safe, my God, 

   for in you I take refuge.

 2 I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; 

   apart from you I have no good thing.” 

3 I say of the holy people who are in the land, 

   “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” 

4 Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more. 

   I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods 

   or take up their names on my lips.

 5 LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; 

   you make my lot secure. 

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 

   surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; 

   even at night my heart instructs me. 

8 I keep my eyes always on the LORD. 

   With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

 9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; 

   my body also will rest secure, 

10 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, 

   nor will you let your faithful one see decay. 

11 You make known to me the path of life; 

   you will fill me with joy in your presence, 

   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

I don't know if I will ever feel healthy again while I am on this earth. I do know that I feel loved and cared for. I do know that my good days are not gone. In fact this week Monday and Tuesday were good days. I had coughing and pain throughout the days but I also had fun, laughter and indescibable joy in my heart.

ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING! What Was Predicted 3 Years Ago is NOW HERE! BHO EXP...

3 New Navy Ships:

USS REAGAN 

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!

When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement. 

Capability

Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet 

Size

1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet 

Capacity 

1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served daily

4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

USS BILL CLINTON 

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada . 

USS BARACK OBAMA

Details are vague.

But don't you worry..........he has a plan

A GLIMMER OF HOPE

I went to my post op appointment this morning Dr. Johnson my oncologist is pleased with the results of my surgery. He says there is some scarring in my right lung but that was to be expected. My right breast hurts and below it is numb, he says it's probable that nerves were damaged by the incisions and they will eventually heal. I weigh less today than I did when I was 16. Seriously, skinny is highly over rated and quite uncomfortable....He says to eat more and start walking as much as I can. He is very happy with the results of chemotherapy and wants to start up again the week after Thanksgiving. Maybe changing it up a little to improve my response to it. He said we have alot of options and can change the medications for optimal response for a long time. I asked how long he thought a long time was. He said 2-3  years. It was a glimmer of hope for me, not long ago we thought my time was up. Alot can change in 2-3 years. I'll take that. 

So much has changed in the past 5 months. Relationships have started to heal, new friendships have been made. I am reminded each day that I am nothing, Everything that I have prided myself on is gone. I have no energy to do the things that I want to do, the things that show off my talents, the things that make me, me. I am everything. God loves me so much that he sent His only Son to take my sins away from me so that I can be near to Him.  When I am healthy, I do things with my own power. When I am ill I have to ask for the strength to make it through the day, sometimes accomplishing little more than showering and dressing myself. When I am weak He is strong. When I am weak, He is waiting for me to call out to Him so he can carry me. When I am weak He shows Himself to me. When I am weak I am willing to see that He loves me and is with me every step of the way.

Why? by Kris Rosebrook Eberle on Sunday, October 23, 2011 at 4:48am

Wednesday mornings have been especially difficult. The 30 minute drive into chemo tends to be a long emotional trip. Dread is heavy. Last Wednesday I asked a few friends to pray for me, specifically to help me have a heart of gratitude. God showed up in a big way for me. I could feel Him holding me. My attitude was changed.  Friends were texting me encouragement and prayers. My sister Tricia  came from Bethel, Ak. ( knowing I would likely be asleep most of her visit). For 2 days we sat around together in our pj's. She gave our dog a bath (He stunk!), just so I could hold him. Meals were delivered. Our son Brandyn, whom we had not seen since August, came home from college for the weekend. To sit and watch the boys make pizza together was priceless and then delicious.

Why? I refused to ask this the first time around. I figured the answer was; Why not? I'm not so special that I could escape a disease that affects so many people. It was just part of life. It could be that I refused to ask because I did not really want to know....This time I'm asking. Why God? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to hurt so much? He has not given me one answer that explains everything and I don't expect that He will. He has given me answers that help explain some things. He wants me to find strength in Him, not in myself. He wants me to trust Him completely. He wants me to let others love me. He wants me to love others without judgment. Why God? I'm ready to hear you. Why God? I'm ready, teach me.