Sunday, October 23, 2011

Why? by Kris Rosebrook Eberle on Sunday, October 23, 2011 at 4:48am

Wednesday mornings have been especially difficult. The 30 minute drive into chemo tends to be a long emotional trip. Dread is heavy. Last Wednesday I asked a few friends to pray for me, specifically to help me have a heart of gratitude. God showed up in a big way for me. I could feel Him holding me. My attitude was changed.  Friends were texting me encouragement and prayers. My sister Tricia  came from Bethel, Ak. ( knowing I would likely be asleep most of her visit). For 2 days we sat around together in our pj's. She gave our dog a bath (He stunk!), just so I could hold him. Meals were delivered. Our son Brandyn, whom we had not seen since August, came home from college for the weekend. To sit and watch the boys make pizza together was priceless and then delicious.
Why? I refused to ask this the first time around. I figured the answer was; Why not? I'm not so special that I could escape a disease that affects so many people. It was just part of life. It could be that I refused to ask because I did not really want to know....This time I'm asking. Why God? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to hurt so much? He has not given me one answer that explains everything and I don't expect that He will. He has given me answers that help explain some things. He wants me to find strength in Him, not in myself. He wants me to trust Him completely. He wants me to let others love me. He wants me to love others without judgment. Why God? I'm ready to hear you. Why God? I'm ready, teach me.
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4 comments:

  1. namasteOctober 26, 2011 at 4:13 AM

    hi kris, i'm sorry you are having to face this difficult time in your life. you remain in my prayers. it's beautiful that your family is all around you with so much love. i can't imagine what you're all going through. but i do know that God is in the midst as He always is, holding you and guiding you with love. i can see you know this too.

    i'll say a prayer of acceptance and serenity for you, especially on wednesday mornings. God bless you and your family.

    love,

    maria

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  2. GreywolfeOctober 27, 2011 at 7:44 PM

    Kris, your mother made me aware of your situation because a dear friend of mine is going through the exact same trial. I want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers and I KNOW that he hears and responds to ALL prayers.

    I don't have the answers as to why you have to be the one to carry this load. I do know why you have felt him so intensely lately. You have opened yourself to His influence in ways that you couldn't when you were hale and healthy.

    I know very few things in this world, but among them I know that His love is limitless, and that He will give you peace and strength sufficient to the race you run. Also, I know that even when we are weak and cannot see purpose, rhyme, or reason to what happens to us, He does. He has a plan for our lives beyond what we can see.

    You and your family have my prayers for healing, strength, and peace, and may God grant you all of these in great measure.

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  3. UnknownNovember 2, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    May the peace of God be with you.Thanks for sharing and visting Joann

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  4. Lil Miss Red T-ShirtJanuary 4, 2012 at 10:20 PM

    Heartbreaking. :( Praying for you guys.

    Have you ever read lilblueboo.com? She has a craft blog, and this year her dad suddenly died after an overseas trip, she had a miscarriage, an emergency hysterectomy, and now a rare form of cancer. Her posts are really uplifting.. maybe you might enjoy reading some of them.

    ReplyDelete

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