Okay, I'll say it.
by Kris Rosebrook Eberle on Saturday, September 15, 2012 at 9:19pm ·
I'm a wreck. Two months off of chemo was supposed to be the best vacation ever! It was so nice the first couple of weeks not to feel nauseous. Joe has had most of that time off of work. We kept busy, going from one project or adventure to another. Camping, street fairs, motorcycle riding, Silverwood, zip lining, car shows, swap meets, garage sales. Driving lil' green, boating/fishing/napping, yard work. We were very busy. We had a great time and there are so many pictures to prove it......
The down times have been hard. Really hard. My body is almost always in excruciating pain. Pain management thus far has been a huge failure. Mostly because I have refused to take the drugs that are supposed to keep the pain in check. I do not like what they do to me. I do not like to sit in a zombie state. I feel like a gooey blob stoned stupid. I do not like it.
1 week later....
My pain had become to much to bare. Had a chat with my Dr. and we agreed it was past time to increase my meds. I spent the entire week in a drugged stupor, crying my eyes out, studdering, shaking, sleeping and still in pain. I'm coming around though. Today I got out of bed, showered and ready for a productive day. Maybe tomorrow I can do all of that and then something productive.
Tuesday I go to see the Dr. and get results from my last bone and cat scans.
Please pray for my attitude. It's bad. While much of what I feel is justifiable it is not the attitude I want. I know that God is in control and ulitmately I want to see Him glorified through this dreaded disease; I just wish it was all not so tough to deal with.
The down times have been hard. Really hard. My body is almost always in excruciating pain. Pain management thus far has been a huge failure. Mostly because I have refused to take the drugs that are supposed to keep the pain in check. I do not like what they do to me. I do not like to sit in a zombie state. I feel like a gooey blob stoned stupid. I do not like it.
1 week later....
My pain had become to much to bare. Had a chat with my Dr. and we agreed it was past time to increase my meds. I spent the entire week in a drugged stupor, crying my eyes out, studdering, shaking, sleeping and still in pain. I'm coming around though. Today I got out of bed, showered and ready for a productive day. Maybe tomorrow I can do all of that and then something productive.
Tuesday I go to see the Dr. and get results from my last bone and cat scans.
Please pray for my attitude. It's bad. While much of what I feel is justifiable it is not the attitude I want. I know that God is in control and ulitmately I want to see Him glorified through this dreaded disease; I just wish it was all not so tough to deal with.
Oh Evy, I wish there was something I could say or do to give her a reprieve from this awful pain. Please know that I will keep her in my prayers and ask God for healing, for pain control and for peace! I have to believe that there is a benefit to suffering. When we unite our sufferings with Christ, it brings us closer to Him. Although I've never known the suffering that Kris is enduring, I know that God sees her, is suffering with her and will never leave her! Love and hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Evy, my heart goes out to you .Watching your child suffer is an agony.
ReplyDeletePrayers going up